Thursday, March 31, 2005


I'm going on a cruise Saturday, so that I can spend my hard earned American dollars in some countries that basically hate us, but love our money.
As a result of my desire to keep things interesting here, I have invited two of my closest friends to assist by being guest bloggers.

So if you notice a change in tone of the posts, not to worry, it's just one of those two clowns, if they can figure out how to turn on their computers without me holding their hands.

Terri Schiavo 1963-2005

Terri Schiavo died this morning, ending her torture at the hands of her husband and the legal system which seems to thrive on a culture of death.
There are so many hypocritical areas of this story that I could take up several pages addressing them, but I'll just go after a few just to get your braincells going:
1. Scott Peterson gets a lethal injection which will end his life in a matter of seconds, but Terri Schiavo has to starve to death and dehydrate over a period of 13 days.
2. Michael Schiavo has moved on, had kids out of wedlock, gotten a girlfriend, but won't let go of his control over Terri's life(and death), for what reason exactly? Could it be the nearly $1.2 million in malpractice award he received as a result of Terri's disability?
3. Terri Schiavo is said to have had an eating disorder which may or may not have caused the condition which resulted in the heart attack that put her in her disabled state. However, there is no medical proof of this eating disorder, her family AND husband (on the record and under oath) state that she did not, nor had she had any drastic weight loss in the time period prior to her collapse. They still do not know the actual reason for her collapse, as the cardiac enzymes and tox-screen done in the hospital both came back negative.
4. Many of the same people (liberals) who say this is not the public's business generally are also the ones who are in favor of 'no-kill' shelters for animals. So apparently a dog's life is much more important than a humans.

Godspeed Terri, may you enjoy the blessings in heaven that you may have been denied on earth, and may your husband enjoy the special place in hell that is waiting for him.

Michigan- the worlds landfill

Currently, Michigan has the lowest landfill tax at $.21 per ton. This makes it incredibly affordable to truck in garbage from not only other states, but from Canada as well, to dump in landfills in Michigan. A recent study showed that medical waste, radioactive material, and other toxic items have made their way to Michigan landfills due to poor inspection processes in the city of Toronto (who dumped 3.6 million cubic yards of waste in Michigan landfills in 2003). Michigan is the number three importer of garbage, behind Virginia and Pennsylvania. It's so bad that New Jersey is shipping garbage to Michigan by rail car.

New Jersey, home of toxic waste, is shipping their waste to Michigan.

Not only does this bonanza of cheap dumping provide a means to pollute Michigan's groundwater, but it also causes a major homeland security issue, in that items which could be used to create a 'dirty bomb' could be smuggled across the Canadian border as well as drugs. In September of 2003, inspectors found one ton of marijuana hidden in a truck shipping garbage across the border. And they don't inspect every truck, so you have to wonder how many trucks made it through with items much more harmful than pot.
Now, the Democrats in the state house have proposed a $7.50/ton landfill tax. Not only will this help deter some of the out of state garbage currently going to our landfills, polluting our lakes and streams, but increase revenue for a budget that currently pretty out of whack.
Now, those of you who read this blog regularly, and who know me, are probably wondering "who the hell is this, and what did he do with Jeff?". But this is something that I find annoying as hell. I'm not a tree-hugger, but dammit, I live in one of the more beautiful states in the country (at least the rural areas are anyway), and I don't want these idiots who don't even live here, trashing it. I hunt and fish, and when I can't eat the fish I catch because they're so loaded with mercury due to poor landfill controls, that pisses me off. And when the governor says we're going to raise taxes on people who LIVE here to pay for services, while letting the people who don't get off with a free ride, that just infuriates me. So, for once, I'm siding with the Dems on this issue. I'll be firing off emails to my state legislators and encouraging those of you who live in Michigan to do the same.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

24 years ago today....

I remember exactly where I was on this day. It was actually a great day, sunny, probably mid-60's (which is great for this time of year in Michigan). I had just finished my paper route and was heading home when I was stopped by a friend that saw me walking by.
"The president has been shot", he said, and we both ran into his house to watch it on TV.
Now these were the days before CNN, FOXnews, et al, so we had a choice of ABC, CBS, or NBC, all of which were running the same thing, that video that we've all seen of President Reagan waving to the crowd and the next second you hear people screaming, shots fired, see the president pushed into the car, and then the camera pans and you see one man laying in a pool of blood.
At 13, I understood what was going on, but didn't want to believe that it could still happen. And while the initial news reports were that President Reagan wasn't seriously injured, you were still concerned. Then as later reports filtered in that he was much more injured than initially let on, I began to distrust the media. I think that was the beginning of my ultimate abandonment of the mainstream media as a reliable source for information whatsoever. They're usually about 10% right, and the rest they either twist the facts to fit their world view, or they just plain lie.
Anyway, I thought that today was a good day to be commorated, as one where the freedom of the Soviet bloc was almost stopped before it had started.

Godspeed Mr. President.

Ignore this post

No Need to Click Here - I'm just claiming my feed at Feedster

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

We have a winner...

The winner of our first annual "What the hell is wrong with you?" award is Governor Jennifer Granholm of Michigan.
She has proposed a tax on physicians (yep, just physicians, not lawyers, not politicians, JUST physicians) of up to 2.3 percent of their charges to patients.
Now to understand how outrageous this is, you have to first understand how medical billing works. Doctors offices don't get paid what they bill you. They get paid whatever it is that your insurance company and the office has negotiated as a payment for service. Thus, they may charge $50 for an office visit, but since your insurance company has guaranteed them a certain number of patients, they accept $25 from your insurance company for the office visit.

So, first of all the tax is misdirected at the wrong number in the offices balance sheet anyway. In addition, the governors lackeys are saying that this will actually INCREASE the amount of money physicians get for serving Medicaid patients. So, is this kind of like "I voted for it before I voted against it"?

To say that this is benefitting physicians is just an absolute joke. If the 2.3% is approved, the physicians who accept Medicaid (this only applies to them, the others get taxed with no benefit whatsoever), they'll get reimbursed at 100% of the MediCARE rate, which is higher than the MediCAID rate. However, this rate is still lower than the lowest insurance reimbursements and end up costing the practices that accept it.

This is just another in a long line of stupid ideas out of the Granholm administration that needs to be put down before the class warfare starts against physicians. Oh, I can hear it now "Doctors won't miss that little bit of money, heck they're all millionaires".The only 'tipping point' that this will be is the one where doctors determine whether or not to continue to practice in the state of Michigan.In addition, several other states who've tried this, have found that it either didn't function as advertised, OR it was challenged in the courts and put down.

Another of the governors flunkies said that this will be a 'tipping point' for some physicians to start accepting Medicare, since the reimbursement will be more. Just remember that Granholm already instituted a 4% cut in reimbursements this year. The tax is intended to start next year. So, we reduce the payments this year, and then bring them up to a level that is still lower than what it costs the offices to service the patients and expect that to be a good thing? The only 'tipping point' that this will be is the one for the physicians who were considering practicing in another state.

Last one out of my formerly beautiful home state please turn out the lights.....

Politics makes strange bedfellows

Did you ever think you'd see the day when Jeb Bush, Jessie Jackson, George W. Bush, and the Pope were all on the same side of an issue?

Apparently Jessie Jackson is courting the pro-life crowd, or heck, just finally decided that he'd been out of the spotlight too long and needed some TV time. He showed up in Florida (was probably on vacation and realized he hadn't been on TV in 48 hours), to protest the treatment of Terri Schiavo. Her husband wouldn't give him permission to visit with Terri, but he prayed with the family.

That having been said, for once, I actually agree with Jessie. I'll give him props for showing up in what looks to be a pretty difficult place right now. Nothing legally can be done, and it looks like the police are guarding the hospice where she's staying tighter than Fort Knox.

Maybe now would be a good time to suggest that perhaps the police should re-think their resource allotment. Granted, a judge ordered all this, but wouldn't a bank robbery in Pinellas Park damage more people? Or a kidnapping? Or a mugging? Ok, I've never been to Pinellas Park, so I don't know much about it, but you'd think that the police would have better things to do than to beat up protesters who try to enter the hospice with water. But what the hell do I know?

Gee, there's a surprise

Apparently I'm a 'free marketer', who believes that the government has no place in the marketplace:

You can take this quiz too at Politopia.

Mexico= Not our friendly neighbors

Is anyone else noticing the hypocricy displayed by Vincente Fox and the rest of the Mexican government when they talk about how their citizens aren't being treated fairly when they cross into America undocumented? For those of you who read that last part, undocumented = illegally. However, Fox won't acknowledge that they are illegally entering, only that they are unfairly being singled out by Americans and this will result in an environment of hatred.
Gee, I thought the fact that a large percentage of the manufacturing jobs moving to Mexico and China would result in an environment of hatred, not the fact that they still keep coming to the U.S. DESPITE the fact that more jobs have moved to Mexico as a result of NAFTA over the last 10 years than the Mexican economy has built in the last 30. But what can you expect when you elect socialists who would rather tear the country down for personal profit.
If there's anything that is going to tear the Republican party apart over the next four years, it will be illegal immigration.
There is a citizens group which has started an interesting project to address illegal immigration in Arizona. It's called the 'Minuteman Project'. These people are spending the next 30 days in the Arizona desert, patrolling the border, watching for illegals. They will then radio the INS/Border Patrol to report these people illegally crossing the border. President Bush has called them 'vigilantes', and Vincente Fox has threatened to take them to court to stop them from doing this. That would be the same Fox that is president of the country where fans at a soccer game vs the US chanted 'Osama, Osama, Osama' and booed the national anthem just a couple days ago. If our country is so bad, stay in your own.

In addition the Arizona chapter of the ACLU has said that they are going to monitor the Minuteman project to make sure that the citizens group isn't "violating anyones rights". Huh? I didn't realize that illegal aliens had civil liberties under our consitution.

Amazing, that our own president, the president I donated time, money, and effort to, wishes to call our own citizens vigilantes, but will not call illegals, illegals. Undocumented workers.

I don't mind that people come to our country, as it is the greatest country in the history of the world, with the extent of freedom and opportunity that other countries only DREAM of having, but if they do it, they need to do it legally. As the economy continues to worsen in some areas and the jobs continue to move from the US, our tax base will be unable to support these workers. And they're costing us billions in medical, welfare, foodstamps, and other programs. This has to end. Now.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Violation of Freedom of Religion

Just wondering how the heck a court can order that Terri Schiavo cannot be given communion. Wouldn't that be a violation of her first amendment rights to freedom of religion? I mean, even a guardian does not have the right to violate her rights like that.

Well, apparently it's because she's been given a death sentence. Much like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Scott Peterson, et al, she has been ordered to death by a judge.

Now, I don't know how you feel about that, and actually don't much care, but I certainly don't want a judge determining when it is time for ME to die and when I'm allowed to live, at least without me having committed a crime to give him/her that privilege.

Godspeed Terri....

So much for a weak Big 10

Now, I'm not a basketball fan, but I kinda listen when people on SportCenter are talking about stuff related to the games, and leagues. As a huge Big 10 fan, after Michigan is eliminated in a sport, I cheer for the Big 10 schools, just because it's always better to have the guys who beat your team succeed, otherwise your team looks like a bunch of pansies.
Anyway, the Big 10 was supposed to be pretty weak this year, an 'off-year' as many brainiacs in the media called it.

Nice to know that even in an off year the Big 10 can get 3 out of the final 6 spots, and 2 out of the final four.

Not a bad OFF year. Christ wait 'til they're strong.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Let her live fer chrissakes

Ok, so I've been relatively silent on this whole Terri Schiavo thing, but I figure that before she expires, I had to post something.
1. I don't care if people arrange ahead of time to have themselves unplugged in this situation. That's their business and it's no business of the government to step in and meddle. However, that's not the situation here. My understanding was that she was a pretty strong Catholic and that would have been against her religious beliefs to just unplug her like this.
2. It certainly seems like her husband doesn't care much about her situation, considering he's pretty much abandoned her and moved on with his life...not afraid to spend the money he got from that malpractice suit that he won as a result of Terri's condition. I can't put myself in his shoes, but I KNOW that I'd never abandon my wife in this situation, even though we both have living wills already arranged. Still wouldn't happen.
3. Where does this stop? There are severely handicapped people who have been fed through tubes and have little advanced mental activity. Should we starve them? How about alzheimers patients? Do we let them starve too? There is coming a point where our society is going to basically allow anyone with some fault to be arguably put to death. It's idiocy. The 'slippery slope' argument is definitely in effect here.

What I'm trying to say is, let her live. Feed her, if she doesn't recover, so be it. If she does then wonderful

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Technology-ain't it grand

Ya never realize how much you rely on technology until it isn't there. My work laptop is screwed up and I'm not sure how much posting I can do, since I'm travelling and it's the only machine I have with me.
The one time I don't travel with my entire library of 'fixit' tools and discs and this is what I get.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Grouchy Media

No, that's not Dan Rather with PMS....that's probably one of the coolest sites on the net if you like military footage set to music. The guy is amazing.
If you've got the bandwidth, download some of his rocks.

And apparently he's got some imitators, because I found this on Very cool

More booms....

As a kid growing up, I was fascinated with things that went boom. I think you can pretty much say that about every red-blooded American boy, but this is my story. If I could get ladyfingers (those little tiny fire crackers that you could light in your hand and have them go off) that was cool...but BlackCats were better...and Cherry Bombs were the best (thanks for the email Fish!). We used to drop them into ponds to see what would happen....usually there was a fish or two in the area that would come floating to the top because it was stunned.

But of course, as with anything, you always had to escalate it. It was boring to just do the same thing. So we'd catch a frog, and duct-tape a cherry bomb to it. And set it free...ok, free for a few seconds anyway. One of the coolest things (and one of the things I got my ass beat for the most) was when I dropped a cherry bomb into a horse tank. Now, for those of you who don't know what a horse tank is, it's basically this hundred or so gallon tank of water for watering livestock. Cherry bomb fuses were waterproof (which I always thought was cool) so we'd drop them in the pond without fear of them going out. One day I had been out to the pond with my buddy David, and we blew all kinds of things up there, and we were back at his house. They had horses there, and we had one cherry bomb left. Somehow we put it in a pocket and forgot about it.
So, David gets the bright idea to put it in the horse tank and spook the horses, so I say "hey, they're YOUR horses, I don't much care", so we wander over, light it, and drop it in the tank. There was only one horse even nearby the tank, but we figured that was good enough, and besides I had to head home soon.
The next couple seconds, we stood there like Beavis & Butthead laughing, saying how cool it was going to be with the water spout going up in the air, and the horse running around like a maniac....then it happened.

The tank blew up. No, not the water spout in the air we expected, the entire tank just went BOOM. and all the water went everywhere. Of course the plumbing that his dad had rigged to the tank was squirting water everywhere, the horse is running around like a damn maniac, kicking at everything, the other horses that were a good 200 yards away were spooked, and we're looking at each other like "Dude, I can't believe you let me do that".

I quick ran to the pipe that fed the tank to try to turn it off, but the spooked 1500 pound Appaloosa standing there huffing and kicking made me decide that it probably wasn't such a good idea. David lured the horse around to the other side of the fence and I crawled under to get to the pipe to turn it off. Unfortunately, the concussive effect of the cherry bomb that was amplified by the water, did some damage to the plumbing, because I couldn't turn the handle at all. And the horse was coming I climbed back under the fence, and proceded to get a pretty good feeling of what it's like to sit in an electric chair. See, they had an electric fence around this horse area, and when you stuck your butt up too high in the air when you were climbing under it, the fence liked to remind you that it was there. Well, being that I was soaking wet, laying in two inches of water, I got a good lively charge. David laughed so hard he damn near pissed himself while I had a seizure. Ok, not a full-on seizure, just a "goddamn get this fence off me cuz I feel like I'm gonna die" seizure.

When I got home, I immediately threw my clothes into the washing machine, started a load of laundry, and took a shower. Trying to destroy whatever evidence I could. Never really considering what's going to happen when David's dad calls my dad. Heck, I coulda saved myself some domestic work if I woulda thought about that. So, I'm sitting at dinner, thinking "wow, I'm gonna get away with this", and the phone rings. And apparently all the color drained from my face. At least, that's what my mom tells me. I don't have much recall of what happened for pretty much the rest of the evening, but I can say that my parents were not happy with my behavior. And that's the understatement of the year.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005


So, my story isn't quite as cool as this, as I don't have video, but here goes:
I was teaching a demo class in North Carolina and we had another crop of winners. I'm not sure how it is the Marines decide who is allowed to play with explosives and who isn't, but I certainly wish they'd be more selective.
Anyway, I get this kid from the barrios of LA. Fresh out of bootcamp, so you'd think that he'd be a bit timid from being beat down by the drill instructors, but apparently that 10 days of leave he took to go back and do some drive-bys in C-C-Compton must have made him brave again. Oh yeah, I didn't mention he stuttered did I? That comes into play later in the story.

Anyway, my partner instructor and I are teaching how to do a delayed fuse charge. Basically it's just how to determine how long you want your fuse to be based upon the known burn rate of the compound that makes up the or minus a couple seconds for variances based upon storage of the fuse, or humidity, or whether the guy running the machine in the factory was hungover or not. We were very clear, everyone had a certain length of fuse, since we had several exercises to perform this afternoon, so we cut them into set 3 lengths which would take 5 minutes a piece to burn, based upon a 2x4 we'd set up on the range that had the set length on it. Unfortunately we had a new guy in the supply area who was cutting the fuse, and cut them a bit longer than we needed, and thus we had about a foot of left over fuse after all the cuts. My partner and I were clear, "Take the smallest section left and put it in your cargo pockets" so we could return them to supply. The Corps has this thing about leaving troops with any sort of explosives in their possession after a training mission, so we figured that since we LIKED our freedom, and didn't want to be walking on the side of the road picking up trash in an orange jumpsuit, we were going to go ahead and follow their orders.
So we get everyone set up with their charges. The cool thing about this range is that we have all kinds of stuff to blow up. Old tractors, bulldozers, Amphibious tracked vehicles, trucks, stuff that the Corps has basically thrown away but they allow us to keep and blow the snot out of.
So everyone is picking what they want to blow up, and this is the part of class where we allow a bit of creativity. Privates are setting up charges on the blades of a bulldozer, the tracks of an old tank, etc. Well, private 'Rico Suave' was working on the cab of the bulldozer. He wanted to blow the top off. The problem was, he couldn't get the C4 to stick to the ceiling of the dozer. You always place the C4 before you put your blasting cap in it, just to keep you from blowing the hell outta yourself. C4 doesn't just blow up by itself, it needs an explosive charge to start it, and that's why you want to keep the blasting cap away from it until you're ready.

So, everyone gets their charges set, and we place the caps, including numnutz. This is the point where the non-hungover instructors would check the length of everyones cables, make sure they picked the right ones, make sure everyones blasting caps were set right, etc.

Unfortunately, myself and my fellow instructor did not fit into that category. So, we did a quick once-over, looked at all the charges that were in place, they LOOKED ok, and decided that it was cool to pull the pins, and get in a single file line to walk to the bunker and get the hell outta the way until it goes BOOOM.
The bunker is about 500m away, and when the wind is right and the charges are set just so, you can hear the metal tinkle on the roof after a particularly good charge, so we definitely want to get there. So, we all get into line, start walking....we're about 200 meters away and we hear a singular 'BOOM'. I think to myself "what the fuck?!" but I'm not about to go back there and check it out with the equivalent of a satchel charge waiting to blow up there. Privates start running to the bunker following the lead instructors orders (I was in the rear to make sure no privates decide to commit suicide on my demo range). All the privates but Rico. He's laying on the ground. I stand over him and start yelling obscenities that would make a drill instructor blush. Things about his mom that even his dad didn't know.
He looks up at me and says "Sgt, that was my ch-ch-ch-charge". I stop the stream of obscenities long enough to allow that to enter my adrenaline overcharged mind and ask him how he knew. "Because I had my three l-l-long fuses after I crimped my blasting cap to the short one , but I d-d-d-din't want to s-s-say anything, cuz I thought it'd be funny". At this point I realize that we're about 30 seconds from a helluva series of booms and decide this conversation is best finished in the bunker. I pick his ass up outta the sand, and we haul ass to the bunker. But while I'm running, I get a know, a passing, fleeting whiff. However, the bunker is relatively closed off, with 15 Marines in it. We get into the bunker and I say "Damn, who busted ass", and Private shortfuse kinda looked at me like "Uh, I forgot to tell you one other thing".

Apparently his sense of humor didn't quite remember to tell his bowels how funny that joke was going to be. His bowels were truly amused, and showed their appreciation of the joke by releasing all that they held.

Private numnutz was dismissed for the day(as was everyone else) and pulled police duty (cleanup) on my demo range every night for the rest of his time in Engineer School. And I never got drunk again the night before a class on the demo range.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Explosives? Yep, I know 'em

I can't believe I've had this blog for about two months and have YET to post something about blowing stuff up.....

Gonna have to rectify that soon.....

Stay tuned.....

Sweet sweet bandwidth.....

DSL. Yep. Finally. SBC may suck at doing the whole business connection thing, and be relatively unreliable when it comes to service calls on the business side, but residential, I gotta give them props. When I first got DSL, back three years ago, it sucked. Up, down, up, down. Wouldn't support the router I had, had to go buy a new one, blah blah. Guess that's what I get for being the first person in a brand new subdivision to get DSL. Even the tech kind of looked at me and said, "well, what do YOU think?". I responded with some curses, sent him away, and called SBC (at the time Ameritech) customer service and requested another tech.
So last year when I realized I was paying $49/month with SBC for DSL for 1.2mb, and I could get 3mb for $44 with Comcast, it was a no brainer. Yeah...that's it.
Unfortunately, no brainer is apparently the name for their service. It was down more than the NASDAQ over the last 6 years. So finally, after being down for the fourth day in a row on Monday, I called SBC and said "I'll be good, please, just give me your DSL". And they responded by giving me 3mb for $29. Now that's a deal. Then they gave me an install date of March 14, which at the time was a week. 'I can suffer with Comcast for a week', I thought to myself. Well, the SBC guy was here yesterday, installed my line and advised me that I was set up. Just waiting for gear.....I come home from working @ Panera (since my comcast was down AGAIN), and what should I find on my front porch? My DSL modem. w00t!

So, now if I'm cursing about my connection, all you'll hear are three little words.....S....B.....C.....

Who says monopolies are necessarily bad?

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Comcast sucks

Not as if I wanted to post something, but since my internet connection @ home has been up and down more than a whore on a naval base, I've been a little quieter than usual. Hopefully when my DSL gets installed I can tell Comcast to go pound sand....

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

More managerial stupidity

Yeah, I know, that's redundant. Management (of which I'm apparently a part of, as I have the title manager, but am not allowed to 'manage' anything important), has lost their friggin minds around my workplace.

See, I do computer security. Won't say for whom, or who our clients are, or where, since there are nosy little pricks in my group who love nothing more than to raise their status amongst the management by tattling on others. Apparently they don't have enough to do already, they have to be the Internet police for everyone else. We've already had one person who got grief for vague references to clients, so I figure better to be safe than sorry. But that does explain why the level of special projects is so much higher in the offices where little bitches like this don't work. I thought that I didn't have to worry about that once I got past 3rd grade, but apparently not. So be it.

So, a proposal was submitted to our management to speak at a technical conference where other computer security experts (and when I say experts, I mean like the people who WRITE antivirus software, anti-spyware stuff, etc, not like your standard security architect geek guy) are presenting stuff. We were given the opportunity to present at this conference. But since we are now micromanaged (after the reorganization), we have to run all speaking engagements past the "Speaking Engagement CZAR". Ok, that's not really his title, but close enough.
So, the person submitting this proposal filled out all the paperwork, like a good little minion, and submitted it, expecting that it would be a no-brainer.
Apparently, that's only half correct. The guy is a no-brainer, attending the conference was denied. Apparently reaching out to the Information Security community and getting our name out amongst the leaders of the field isn't enough of a motivation or "something we should spend time on or that it supports the (insert group name here) strategy". Yep, instead of actually showing our information security expertise to the people who matter most in our industry, I guess we should just shut up and do external penetration tests.

Man, I gotta hit the Lotto soon....

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Snowboarding = danger

So I went snowboarding today...the conditions were a little slushy, as the temperature was well into the high 30's, but it was still a good time. However, now that I'm sitting on my butt afterward, I'm realizing one thing:

I'm old.

Not old like paying attention to Geritol and Depends commercials saying "Hey, I gotta get me some of that", but old as in not able to recover quite as quickly from things as I used to. I noticed after this past weekend of snowboarding that my legs were sore for two days...and today, just a couple hours after finishing, I have a list of things:
1. Neck- Whiplash. This is what happens when you catch a heel edge and go flipping over on your back like you were catapulted, slamming your head against the ground. The first thing I could think of was "Jesus Christ, I'm glad I bought this helmet". Seriously, if you're gonna board, even if you're not nearly as clumsy as I am, you GOTTA have a helmet. At least if you don't want to take a chance on being a drooling veg at some point in your life. I'm hoping for that when I'm around 80...not 30's.
2. Groin. Right groin muscle to be precise. See, at this place I went, TimberRidge, their highest lift has a weird exit. And by weird, I mean difficult. And my difficult I mean, if you do it 5 times without falling down at the end they'll give you a free season pass....ok, maybe not that bad, but hell, they should. Anyway, when you get to the end of the lift, you slide down, and have to turn pretty quickly. And because conditions were what they were, I didn't do so well turning. So I was constantly taking my right leg and stopping with it, because the frickin board wouldn't stop the way it was supposed to. N0w, think of the rest of your body going sideways, you stick out your right leg behind you to stop that about twenty times, and you'll understand why my right groin is sore. Now go ahead with the 'stop pulling your groin muscle' jokes...go ahead, if it makes you feel better.
3. Right shoulder. I was going down the steepest hill they have, Hemlock, determined that I wasn't going to be the hills bitch. Understand, I had gone down the hill at least five times to that point, never once having made it to the bottom without sliding to a stop on my ass, or having to break with my board to keep from killing myself. Finally, I'm feeling good, rocketing down the hill, and lean a bit far back and start to lose my balance backward (uphill). 'No problem', I think, 'I'll just put my hand down to balance'. The unfortunate thing about that is when you're going a good clip, and you put your hand down behind you, it just grabs your hand and throws it up into the air. Kinda like if you were in a speedboat going 30 mph and suddenly decide you're going to plunge your arm into the water, but just to your wrist. You'll feel your arm go a really unnatural direction behind you in a windmill fashion, and your shoulder will feel much like mine does right now.

Of course I have the sore wrists and legs, but that's just normal.

But GOD do I love snowboarding.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Bill of (no)Rights

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal, bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights."

Dummycrats <> Tolerance

Ok, I know I'm kinda behind the curve on this, but I've been paying attention to the story...just not posting my opinion on it.
Jeff Gannon, of the Talon News website is getting slammed by liberals, the press (ok, that's redundant), and Democrats (triply redundant, yes I know), for asking 'softball' questions during a press conference. Apparently that's a privilege only reserved for the rest of the liberal media during a Democratic administration.
Anyway, the biggest slam that these idiots can come up with is that he's gay. They tried to denigrate his position since he wasn't a real reporter, only writing for a right-wing news blog site. Since Jayson Blair, the whole 'real reporter' thing seems to have grayed a tad. Then they tried to accuse him of running a gay escort service. Barney Frank must have decided that wasn't a good strategy.

So, apparently, everyone is supposed to be angry about this guy because he's gay and was allowed a press pass. Hmm. I thought it was the Republicans who are 'homophobic'. But nope, as long as the gay guy is in cahoots with the Dummycrats, he's fine. As soon as he moves a little right toward the Republicans, he gets outted, and gay sex pictures get posted on the Internet.

So much for tolerance.