Monday, January 31, 2005

Greedy Americans

Ok, so we're several weeks out from the tsunami now, and I think we've got enough perspective to really examine the 'namecalling' that happened within the week after the disaster.
We're greedy. Yep, us Americans should feel bad because we didn't immediately drop everything that we were working on (you know, the cure for AIDS, cure for cancer, spreading freedom, etc), and donate a larger percentage of Gross National Product to UN organizations that already can't keep track of the small amount(comparatively speaking) of money generated in the Iraqi oil-for-food program, allowing several countries and individuals to bribe Saddam for oil vouchers.
The UN head of humanitarian relief, Jan Egeland, actually had the cohones (a little multiculturalism for you) to criticize the US for not raising taxes in order to donate more money to the cause. He called the initial donation of $350 million that we made without even KNOWING the extent of the disaster, miserly. This of course was when the death toll was about 1200. Do the math, not a bad amount, $291666 per, based upon initial figures.
Let's examine some of the other countries donations, shall we? Egypt (who gets $2 billion a year from US) - $104,000. United Arab Emirates-$20 million, Kuwait-$10 million, Saudi Arabia-$10 million (not bad, but if you consider their some of the richestcountries in the world, you'd think they would want to donate more to help their Muslim 'brothers'). You'd also think that just for pride purposes they'd want to donate more than the Great Satan.
Funny how the last four places where American blood was shed in defense of innocents was Iraq (defending/freeing Muslims), Afghanistan (defending/freeing Muslims), Bosnia (defending Muslims), Kuwait (defending Muslims). And also funny how the evil corporations that the liberals/Democrats say are taking advantage of people and sucking our society dry, and who they rail against every opportunity they get, donated multi-millions to the cause. Pfizer donated $10 million in cash and $25 million in drugs. GM donated $2 million in cash, promised to match employee donations dollar-for-dollar, and donated vehicles to be used for transporting aid materials. Several other companies donated both financial aid and products including Coke, Exxon (BIG OIL!), Citigroup, and the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation.
Oh and where is the left? George Soros? Barbara Streisand? Michael Moore? Nowhere to be found. Oh yeah, Bruce Springsteen and Bono offered to have a concert to collect YOUR money, but did they donate any of their own? Nope. And did Kofi Annan drop everything to run back to the UN right after the disaster? Nope. Did the New York Times give President all kinds of grief for NOT running back to DC after the disaster? Yep. Kofi Annan didn't return to the UN until Wednesday, not wanting to cut his skiing vacation in Jackson Hole WY short. Mr. Secretary, while the US appreciates your tourism dollars, I think you would not have hurt our feelings to return a bit early.

Bottom line, per usual, the hate America crowd (or Blame America, whatever you want to pick) is typically screwed in their thinking, once again. Luckily we have people like you and I who basically tell idiots like them to kiss our ass.

Democrats and Liberals can kiss my ass

So much for you pansy Dems whining about the Iraqi people not turning out to vote. Just because you're too lazy to show up to vote when it's raining doesn't mean that everyone else is such a complete waste of oxygen.

When freedom is on the line, the people who wish to be free turn out to protect their freedom. No amount of threats from those goat-loving, cowardly, islamo-facists would stop most of these people from showing up to select their leadership. In so doing, they have proven the contrarians wrong, who consistently have said "Middle eastern people just don't want freedom, they can't handle it". Apparently it's perfectly fine for liberals to make sweeping derogatory statements for an entire race of people, but if a conservative (Trent Lott) says nice things about a FORMER segregationist (Strom Thurmond), that's a hanging offense apparently. Never you mind the fact that Robert Byrd is a former Klansman, that's not supposed to be public knowledge, nor are you supposed to care, because HE'S a Democrat, and thus should be forgiven for all past transgressions.

Stupidity has no limits on that side of the aisle, apparently.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Edward Kennedy blows goats

The following is my emailed letter to Senator Edward Kennedy(D)-MA:

You are the single most disgusting, treasonous pig in the history of this country, unless you wish to include Jane Fonda or Benedict Arnold. Saying the US military presence as part of the problem is like you blaming Dewars scotch for the drowning of Miss Kopechne (oh yeah, you never DID take responsibility did you?).

I'd like to think that you specifically mounted these attacks against the US two days before the Iraq election in order to influence this. But you're probably too pickled to think that logically.

You are an embarrassment to this country, to the servicemen of this country, and to your family. Having served this country honorably in the Marine Corps, I understand freedom. I understand freedom in a manner that the protected such as yourself will NEVER understand it. My brothers in arms are over there fighting for freedom not only for the Iraqi's, but for the world. And you put them in harms way by giving aid and comfort to their enemies. Your brothers would be disappointed in your lack of restraint and utter disgraceful behavior. You should resign now and be tried for treason. For the good of the country, resign.

Bottom line, he's been a lying treasonous ass for the 30-something years that he has been in the Senate. Please, folks in MA, do something about this drunk who is embarrassingly representing your state. Yeah, like I should talk having Commie Carl Levin as my senator, but at least he doesn't make it a habit of walking around in his underwear, drowning young girls that he's been sleeping with, or condoning sex parties at his Florida compound. Jesus, he makes Commie Carl look downright acceptable. And I thought Kerry was the idiot senator from MA.

Is this wrong?

Ok, so I've known for some time that I was going to hell (3rd level, just in case you're curious). My friends know and I'm pretty sure my family knows. It's not that I'm a BAD guy, I just don't give a fuck. I'm actually a pretty good guy if you get down to it. I look out for the little guy as best I can and try to screw whoever is trying to screw others. Not that this has affected the way I live my life. I've always figured that it's much better to slide sideways into the grave, kicking, screaming, and cursing, with burn marks on my ass and soul, and a hangover that would kill a rhino, than to lie there peacefully with a well preserved body. When friends say "Dude, you're going to hell for that", my usual response is "If what I've done to this point doesn't rate a reserved suite in hell, I don't know what does". Heck, one of my friends even remarked that I'm not going to have a suite, I'm going to have an entire resort. Kinda like Caesars Palace. The Caesars Palace of Hell. Of course, when you think about it that way, I can't wait to go! Especially if there's a Venus Pool.

So anyway, I figure that since I'm already GOING to hell, I may as well tell everyone to look at my countdown on the right side of the screen, all the way down....

Yep, I'm going to hell. But it's gonna be a helluva ride before I get there.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Americans are self-absorbed?

So I'm wandering through my normal sites that I occasionally skim, and I come across an article at Amazing how ignorantly self-righteous Europeans are, but they want to criticize us for being self-absorbed. Give me self-absorbed versus ignoring the killing of 6 million jews any day of the week.

Well, this explains it...

The company I work for has a rather large client in Fort Wayne that tends to be a boil on the ass of our existence every time we deal with them. Face it, they're FUBAR, but they won't admit it. And when we show them how messed up they are, all they want to do is cover their asses.

Well, this explains it....go to page two of this study and be thankful you don't live there.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

10 things women should know

So, I'm driving home from work, and some of you know that my 'commute' is about 75 miles, and thus I have plenty of time to think. And when I think, that's when I come up with stuff to help people out. See, people are stupid and need all the help they can get. I have found that the most stupid people alive are the ones trying to do the little mating know the one....the one where you pretend there are no bodily functions that occur within YOUR body (such as belching, farting, etc) just to impress the person of the opposite sex. Not letting the person of the opposite sex who you're trying to impress meet any of your dirtbag friends...ya'll know what I'm talking about.

So I came up with a shortcut for everyone. Let's just cut out much of the silliness and just come up with a list of things women should just KNOW before dating men. I came up with a good number of them, most of them horribly offensive, and so obviously I gotta post them.

1. If you want to cuddle after sex, buy a teddy bear.
2. Swallow. Don't start a race if you have no intention of finishing it.
3. You masturbate. We know it. When you do, just let us watch.
4. If you start to cry for any reason, and we're there, just leave. We don't want to see that, especially if we caused it.
5. If we drink to much and need to vomit, we don't need a babysitter to hold our hair. We've done it before, we'll do it again, we're experts by now.
6. If we cheat on you and you don't find out, it's not cheating.
7. When you follow rule #2, don't expect us to kiss you. Just not gonna happen. Deal with it.
8. If you wonder why your ass looks fat in those pants, it's because you have a fat ass.
9. If you expect us to dance, we expect you to fuck. Just the way it works.

I'm sure there are others that I've forgotten since yesterday, but as I work with a bunch of creative people, feel free to add some in the chatterbox or comments.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Super(?) Bowl

Is it just me, or is no one else really looking forward to the Super Bowl? I mean, it woulda been cool to see Big Ben win as a rook, or to see Peyton do the record and the ring. I guess now you have the Eagles finally making it, but heck, to them, they've already won. Just to get out of the damn NFC Championship is a victory for them.

My prediction? Pats 31, Iggles 17. Brady=MVP

Am I happy that this is the case? Not really. But I have to say that I'm impressed with the Pats organization. Anyone that can tame Corey Dillon and get guys to stay on for lesser salaries than they could get in free agency, merely because they're going to have a chance to go to the Super Bowl has to be a helluva organization.

Come drink at my SuperBowl party. Everyone is invited.

Thursday, January 20, 2005


Ok, so amongst the guys @ work, we've had the discussion of women we'd do time in a Turkish Prison in exchange for a long hotel weekend with. Any female readers, feel free to skip this post, but if you truly want to know how the male mind works, you may want to stick around.

So, sometimes we'll sit around and say "Jennifer Garner OR Jennifer Aniston", and of course the guys sitting around all have their views and will strongly opine one way or another. (I suppose this is probably a good opportunity to tell folks that most of my links won't be safe for work, or at least, not ENCOURAGED at work).
So, I've developed a top 5 list of my own of women that I'd allow myself to be depilated with tweezers by a palsified 90-year-old man. Screw you if you don't agree.

5. Angelina Jolie - Like a rental Ferrari, you know you're not the first, you know you won't be the last, but you definitely want your friends to see you with it, and it'll be a hell of a ride!(thanks to T-shirt Hell for the description)

4. Halle Berry - The topless scene in Swordfish helped, but Monsters Ball (Billy Bob Thornton? Are you kidding me? That's why Angelina is all the way down @ #5) definitely hurt. Catwoman's leather helped, but still couldn't move her up any further.

3. Jessica Simpson- Look at that rack. Done.

2. Liv Tyler- Been in love with her since the 'Crazy' video. Her in a school-girl outfit is a killer.

1. Jennifer Garner- Are you frickin kidding me? Have you even SEEN Alias? The first episode this season when she was in the white teddy? Ouch.

Gotta step out for a second for 'tension relief' after thinking about the top 5.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Anal retentive people are stupid

Well, that didn't take long. I figured it'd be at least a day or two before someone did something that pissed me off enough to share with you.

So, within our company, as with many other companies, we have a policy which states that if the company doesn't own a license for the software, or otherwise control it, you shouldn't install it. This goes for shareware, freeware, etc.

Well, GoogleDesktop search rocks, and lots of people I know have installed it, including co-workers. Obviously, this isn't a 'licensed' piece of software, but most IT guys pretty much look the other way for cool tools such as this. Heck, Firefox isn't licensed, AOL IM isn't licensed, but they're cool with that.

Anyway, I digress....

So, Todd, one of the guys in my group, sends out an email which talks about the possible vulnerabilities associated with the Google Desktop search and the various ways to secure it better on your computer. Well, we have this guy in that group, yeah, he's THAT guy. The guy who thinks that his sole existence is to make sure that others follow the random policies that he's memorized from beginning to end. He calls Todd and asks "Have you considered that it may not be within policy to even install the Google Search?"

Now, to some of you, this may seem normal. Some of you are stupid. This is the same guy who took a ruler and measured the distance between the push pins on his bulletin board to ensure they were equidistant. This is the same guy who cannot stand to be in an office with an open cupboard door or an open drawer. He can't stand it when I unlock the lab at our office and keep the door open when there's no one in the lab, DESPITE the fact that I sit across the hall from the lab and can watch the door. This is the same guy who I thought was going to cry when I slapped him down for just randomly changing standards based upon his VAST experience (that would be 2.5 years of employment and 4 years of college). He definitely has this "God-complex" and should be beaten with a bag of rabid cats. Truly, someone should hold him down, cover him with 1 foot lengths of duct-tape, and rip it off, one piece at a time. Hopefully, someone in my group will be inspired by this post and do it...yeah, get angry.

What the hell is this?

Well, first of all, this is where I'm going to blather on about how stupid people are. Yeah, I know, there's lots of sites that do that, but fuck you, it's my site, I'll talk about whatever I want. Don't like it, head to and spank your monkey to big-bird, I could give a shit.

I'll probably remain anonymous to most of you, mostly because I don't really want to have the old income dry up due to something I may have said about one of the idiots I work with.

I'll probably not name names when I see something stupid, unless I determine that they're not really going to hunt me down, stalk me, boil a rabbit in a pot on my stove, bury my dog up to it's neck in the yard and generally become a boil on the ass of my existence....then I probably will name least first names anyway, and y'all can figure it out yourself.